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Jensen Interceptor S. You can even drive this car when you are fast asleep. Citro?n was the first car manufacturer in Europe to introduce lane assist, a device that buzzes if it thinks you’re drifting out of lane on the motorway. Audi, though, has gone one better. Providing you are travelling at more than 40mph, its system will actually steer you back in line. And if you have the active cruise control switched on, it will even brake on your behalf if there’s an obstacle ahead. All that’s missing is an alarm clock to wake you up when you arrive at your destination.. One minute you are gliding pastHMS Belfast, a second world war battle cruiser, and no sooner have you taken stock of its rear end than it’s time to swivel round and gawp at London’s signature dish – Tower Bridge. It’s not a river cruise, really; it’s time travel.. Later that night we arrived at a lovely restaurant where we had booked a table for twelve. And it did indeed have a table around which twelve people could sit. But there were only ten chairs. The same thing happened the next night, and the next.. You sense that Ferrari is trying to address this. Its cars now come with 200-year warranties and e-zee financing for the servicing costs. Plus, except in the case of the 458, the company has stopped putting the engine in the middle. It has given up on the high-day-and-holiday supercar and is making GT cars you can actually use to take the dog to the vet when it has diarrhoea.. But what in the name of all that’s holy caused Jaguar’s board to say, ‘Yes. We have the legal and moral right to make it look like an E-type. But we won’t’?. And then there’s the upholstery. It looks like leather bubble wrap and it’s wonderful. So when it comes to practicality – it even has a big boot – and styling, this car is world class. It’s an iPhone in a sea of Bakelite.. You could buy one of these cars, and, provided you never, ever, put it in Dynamic mode, you’d be very happy. Your dog would also like it because in the boot there’s a bit of equipment designed, in my mind, to stop him falling over. It works for shopping too.. But there are some problems with this, as I discovered over a few days with the Aston

Martin V12 Vantage roadster. On cold mornings the big metal lever was jolly chilly. So chilly, in fact, that you needed to think about wearing mittens before setting off. And in the fight-or-flight, hunter-killer world of male pride, you really want to be in a loincloth, not mittens.. Last weekend in Scotland I encountered many members of the MG Owners’ Club, driving from breakdown to breakdown with dirty fingernails and big grins on their faces. They had their roofs down, despite the cold, and it all looked very hearty and rorty and James May-ish.. Then there’s the width. Certainly you do not whizz through width restrictions the way you would in a 1-series BMW. You need to breathe in and grimace first.. It should be good. And on a track it is. Very good indeed. Way faster than the standard SLS. But if you’re going on a track, why use a pantomime horse that’s been converted? Why not get a car that was built to be quick in the first place? A much cheaper Porsche 911 GT3, for example.. Some of them have V12 engines. And they’re not going to survive the storm. Nor will V8s. And that’ll be sad. We’ll all miss the rumble. In the same way, I’m sure, as when the last apatosaurus keeled over, the species that were left may have shed a bit of a tear.. The fact is this. There are two types of off-road car. There’s an off-road car that is designed to go off road. A Range Rover, for instance. And then you have off-road cars that are not designed to go off road. These are called SUVs and they annoy me.. People could see a clever ad about beating a German to the beach, or read a pithy review inAutocar, or talk to friends in the pub, but when push came to shove they wanted only one thing: safety, durability, sportiness or reliability. And those were already bagged. I suggested he go for‘Germany’s biggest car’. But he said this would be silly and went instead for Vorsprung durch Technik..

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