Of course, you might not care about how it looks or what it’s called. Fine. But I bet you will care about the cramp it gives you when you drive it in traffic. It’s the second Mini on the trot that has done this to me, come to think of it, and you will definitely care about how easy it is to stall, and how hard it is to get going again thanks to the stop-start eco-gadgetry that shuts down the engine whenever you’re stationary.. Then you have the wheels. They are knurled to stop the tyres coming adrift during cornering. Does a Ferrari have that? No. It’s not necessary.. Apparently, Volkswagen wants to sell 3,000 Jettas in the UK this year, which in the big scheme of things does not sound an ambitious target. But I cannot think of even three people who would be happy to live for more than a few seconds with this hateful, dreary, badly equipped, uncomfortable, forgettable piece of motoring-induced euthanasia.. However. There are a few problems. There are so many gadgets that some of the features are not very easy to use. Such as: last night I arrived at theTop Gear edit, put the gearbox in neutral and started to get out.‘Bong,’ said the warning buzzer and ‘flash’ went the dash display. ‘You have not put the vehicle in Park. It may roll away. You may not lock the doors until you have put it in Park. Bong.’. In two important areas, the car’s age pays dividends. First, it still uses a proper automatic gearbox, not an eco-sop flappy-paddle manual. And its roof is still made from canvas rather than steel. Normally, I’m not given to camping, but somehow, in a car, it’s nice to be protected from the elements by nothing more substantial than one of Bear Grylls’s hats.. You can keep your schnapps, Heidi – I’ll have cider with Rosie. But towering above the ride in the big bag of mistakes is the fuel tank. It may be large enough if the engine under the bonnet is a diesel, but when it’s a turbo nutter petrol bastard, you can’t even get from London to Sheffield and back without filling up. God knows what it will be like when the 350-bhp four-wheel-drive version arrives next year. That won’t be able to get from 0 to 62 mph without spluttering to a halt.. What is it you want? Economy? Value? Speed? Comfort? Reliability? Handling? Space? A blend of all those? It doesn’t really matter because the Volkswagen Golf does more things more betterer than all of its rivals. It is the Italy of hatchbacks. The Heinz baked bean. The iPhone. The Waitrose. The best.. Cleverly, the company has fitted a soft-touch leather steering wheel, so the first thing you touch when you get inside feels expensive and luggzurious. But don’t be fooled, because everything else feels cheap and nasty. The box between the front seats, for instance, has the quality of a Third World bucket. Johnny Hyundai knew a box was necessary and fitted one with no thought at all about how it felt to the touch. If he’d thought for a moment that itcould be made from cardboard, it would have been.. Now, though, things have changed. All the new AMG engines are twin-turbocharged 5.5-litre V8s, and they’re different. The bellow has gone, and with it the terror. You can now drive an AMG without ear defenders and nappies. And this means you can concentrate on what the utensils are like.. Sprinkle into the mix four seats, a commodious boot and a body that isn’t as big as it seems and you end up with a pretty compelling car. So here comes the U-turn. In the past you would see someone cruise by in a Continental and you would think, You bought that because you know nothing about cars, you are not interested in driving and you wanted simply to tell your friends at the golf club you have a Bentley.. This is what the 911 has always been about. A taste of the exotic in an-easy-to-use, everything-works package. It’s bloody good value as well. Most interesting cars these days cost upwards of ?200,000. They’re so expensive that I was surprised and amazed the other day to find the new Bentley Continental GT Speed is ‘only’ ?151,100. But the 394 bhp sequential automatic Porsche 911 Carrera 4S I tested last week is a mere ?90,346. And this, remember, is a 184-mph car. So that’s proper performance with a Poundland price tag.. The engine is a 2-litre turbo that produces 217 bhp. But for an extra?980 you can have the performance pack, which takes the output up to 227 bhp. I tried that version and after a short time knew that in the real world this car could keep up with just about anything.. So I was surprised and, yes, a little bit disappointed when I put my foot down for the first time in BMW’s new 435i coup?. This is the sporty two-door version of the 3-series. In the past it would have been called the 3-series coup? but BMW has decided to give it a name of its own, which has allowed the stylists to have a freer hand. A much freer hand, as it turns out, because the only panel thiscar shares with its four-door stablemate is the bonnet.. Then there was the Lada Riva. It was originally designed by Fiat when Ben-Hur was still the star attraction in Rome – I mean the actual Ben-Hur, not Charlton Heston – and the design rights were sold to Lada, which promptly didn’t develop it at all. Why should they? There was a thirty-year waiting list at home, there was no competition and there were plenty of people in Britain who’d buy one because ofits numberplate..