What were they thinking of? Why, for instance, are its rear wheel arches bigger than those you would find on a modern tractor, even though the wheels are the size of Polo mints? And why are the front lights mounted on top of the bonnet? It’s all completely ridiculous.. Too tame for the special flair service. Hammond has about 700 cars, several thousand motorcycles and a helicopter. And you may think he spends many hours in the day wondering what to drive next. He doesn’t, though. He always uses his Range Rover. I always use mine. Because whatever we’re doing, it’s the answer.. You can also change the cabin lighting from a cool vodka-bar blue to a burlesque red. And this is just the tip of a techno iceberg, which must mean there is more wiring behind the scenes in this car than in an Airbus A380. Take the television for example. It sits in the middle of the dash and it’s capable of showing two things at the same time.. But I suspect the real reason the Indians look set to go with the French is this: their Rafale plane is around?20 million cheaper than a Eurofighter. And it’s all very well saying that the British-backed plane has an operational ceiling of 55,000 feet – 5,000 higher than the French jet – because so what?. And, anyway, there is no doubt some people like the design as it is. So let’s move on to see what it’s like as a car.. When we buy a really fast car, the last thing we want is a really fast car. We may think we do. But we don’t. The top speed of a car matters when you’re a child. My dad’s car is faster than yours. And it matters when you are a teenager.. Then we get to the climate control. You used to have a choice: warm or cold. Now you can select a temperature – to within half a degree – for each person in the car. This takes about a week. And you don’t have a week because you are way too busy reconfiguring the satnav.. It’s comfortable too. On even the most potholed roads it would make a tremendously stable gun platform. It’s a bit like an ageing rock god. The anarchy is still there in its DNA. But these days it prefers cocoa to cocaine.. I wish I ran a team. I’d turn up late and a bit drunk. I’d park my lorry at an angle and send out a car with a giant cock and balls painted on the side. I’d goose the drivers’ girlfriends, over the radio, while they were racing, and if I won, I’d run up and down the pit lane making the loser sign at Christian Horner.. Hondas, then, were iPhones that didn’t jam. They were style icons that worked. They were the embodiment of what Charles Babbage was on about – the unerring certainty of machinery. Or, to put it another way, Alfa Romeos that started.. Today, though, you just fire up your laptop and ask it to design a car, and while you go for a chat at the water fountain, it comes up with the answer. An answer that’ll be safe, economical and made from parts that will be delivered bang on time and that will work.. Gliding gently into the parking slot reserved for losers. But for the vast majority of people – and I mean, 97.3 per cent of the population – it makes a deal of sense. If – and it’s a big if – it is reliable, then you really couldn’t ask for more. The only trouble is, the sort of people I’m talking to have used this bit of the newspaper to line the budgie cage. So they’ll never know.10 August 2013. Although it’s largely made from carbon fibre, it’s a heavy car, and it gets all bolshie and uninterested when you push it hard. The tyres don’t last very well either. After three laps they lose their bite and you end up with 300 yards of dreary understeer. And the gearbox, a smooth-changing automatic, doesn’t much like to be hurried. Taking this car on a track? It’s as wrong as playing rugby in a dinner jacket..